WHERE'S MY OPRAH AND AMERICAN IDOL?

Where's American Idol?

It happened just as we predicted. Around 12:30 last Friday afternoon the switches were thrown and America's television stations turned off their analog signals. All that was left was digital. We've known about this for over a year. For over six months virtually all of these TV stations were broadcasting announcements about the switch. If you watch TV even a little you've seen hundreds of announcements telling you that the switch was coming and that you needed to take steps to make sure you could still watch your precious boob tube. The government was handing out coupons whereby the dumb masses could tap the taxpayers for the cost of a converter box. There were volunteers out there attaching the conversion boxes for people who still haven't managed to master the ballpoint pen. Everything that could be done was done. And yet ... on Friday afternoon the calls came pouring in to the TV stations .......

"What happened to my soap opera?"
"Where can you get one of them converter things?"
"I can't afford one of them converter things."
"Where is Barack Obama's birth certificate?"
"Why didn't you warn us this was going to happen?"
"I have a right to TV."
"The government needs to do something about this."

We are presented with a great opportunity here. Let's get the names of all of the ignoramuses who couldn't figure this thing out by Friday and get them converted to digital ... with one condition. They surrender their voter registration cards. We have enough idiots voting in this country ... and since there is no Constitutional right to vote in a federal election, we need to find ways to cull the herd. Clearly anyone who couldn't figure out this analog-to-digital conversion thing isn't bright enough to cast an intelligent vote. Sure ... we need them. Someone has to cook the French fries ... but we don't need them voting.